Here are 10 important tips for separating parents:
1. Talk to your children about your separation
Tell them in simple terms what this means to them and their lives.
2. Be Discreet
Don’t leave letters or court papers on your kitchen bench and if speaking with friends or family regarding your separation ensure your children cannot over hear.
3. Keep your conflict away from the kids
No one will benefit by involving the children in your disputes.
4. Stay in the picture and be a good parent
The more involved parents are after separation and divorce, the better for your children. Help with homework, maintain appropriate disciple, monitor your children, maintain your expectations about school, be emotionally available.
5. Deal with anger appropriately
When you’re hurting, it is easy to think you never want to see the ‘ex’ again and to convince yourself that’s also best for the kids but (keep in mind that) the children’s needs during separation are very different from their parents.
6. Manage your own mental health
Seek help if feelings of depression, anxiety or anger continue to overwhelm you.
7. Keep the people your children care about in their lives
Encourage your children to stay connected to your ex’s family and friends and if possible, use the same babysitters or child care.
8. Be thoughtful about your future love life
Take time, before you remarry or cohabitate again. Ask yourself: must your children meet everyone you date?
9. Pay your child support
Pay child support regularly – even if you’re angry or access to your children is withheld. Don’t make the situation worse. Let your message to the kids be that you care so much about them that you will keep them safe from conflict.
10. Be a good parent
Competent parenting has emerged as one of the most important protective factors in terms of children’s positive adjustments to separation.
Provide appropriate disciple, monitor your children, maintaining your expectations about school, being emotional available.